“I believe deeply in what I am building, but right now I am struggling emotionally, financially, and mentally, and I feel very alone.”
To My White Butterfly
Hunger is worse than physical pain. Not having the resources to buy food makes you realize that fame, good clothes, and creativity mean nothing when a small LPG crisis can make you so financially unstable that you can no longer afford to eat.
I imagine you feeding me with your hands, and I feel full. Now that I have lost access to you, all I have is my imagination. I am very, very hungry right now. I want to eat, but I don’t feel like eating. I know I have a bright future, but today is not a good day. I quit my job to start Becoming Butterfly Media, and it has brought a lot of financial instability.
I did everything possible. I went to as many businesses as I could in Beltola and generated leads, but today, I will have to stay hungry. Now that my parents are used to me being on my own, they have stopped worrying about my finances and are focused on their own financial situation, which is also not great. I am not able to call my father anymore. I am accepting my situation as it is. I cannot afford therapy anymore, nor can I afford to talk to you without the assurance that I will become financially stable very soon. All I can afford right now is writing this letter while thinking about you.
I am very certain that I can build my own creative agency, and that is why I quit my job. But I just need one or two months of financial support from my parents and your emotional support. I wish things were easier and that my love was enough for you.
I was financially stable before, and I will be financially stable again. But today, I feel very lonely. My mentor (now my former boss) is not with me. I may have disappointed her by quitting. You are not with me, and my family do not understand my vision. I have allowed myself to fail multiple times, but this time I cannot afford to lose. Nobody understands what I am trying to build. My loved ones do not want me to suffer, but they are also unable to support me in my journey in any way.
It is just a matter of two months at most. God, I have faith in you. I want to succeed for myself and for my Hot Wheels car collection.